Dissatisfied Catholics. Why Do We Stay?

When so many of us disagree with policies that hurt our neighbors.

Photo by Olia Gozha on Unsplash

Reason 1. Lack of Sufficient motivation. I didn’t think it mattered

I didn’t support the anti LGBTQ policies and didn’t know many Catholics that did. And having always attended Catholic schools followed by the military, I never got to know anyone personally who I knew was part of the LGBTQ community. Before this past year, I’d never even heard a Catholic priest in church speak negatively about homosexuality. So I thought: what difference does it make? If the Vatican doesn’t like the LGBTQ community and they put that in a document (Catechism) that only they fully respect, who cares? Not me. But while I and others I know were safe from the hate, the Vatican was using that document to support the terrorizing of our neighbors across the world and the subtle torture of our neighbors at home.

Reason 2. Ties to the old way. I didn’t want to give up *my* church to the those who hate

I honestly believed that sooner or later the haters in the Vatican would just give up (or maybe we could kick them out?). Why should I give up the church of my childhood to a bunch of unkind old men in Rome. Let them leave!

Reason 3. Obstacle. I didn’t see a good alternative.

Sure, I know there are other Christian churches in the US. There are Episcopalian churches in most places and plenty of non denominational ones that claim to be inclusive and not hateful.

Reason 4. Obstacle. I was afraid someone would make fun of me or call me gay if I left over the RCC’s LGBTQ policies.

This is the not so funny reason and the one I am very ashamed of. I may have grown up in houses where half of the conversations were in Spanish, but to the world, I’m just another white guy. A white heterosexual male married to a white heterosexual woman with two kids, a few dogs and a white picket fence that separates my yard from the street. The only thing we are missing is money, but no one’s perfect. The definition of privilege in America. I recognized that if I stood up for my LGBTQ neighbors — people I didn’t even know — that privileged position would be threatened.

Husband. Dad to two kids and four dogs. Trying to become more authentic and less afraid.

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